I wrote the story below in March 2013 in preparation of our youngest son graduating from high school. Many of us are now preparing to send our sons and daughters off to college to begin their adult lives. It is hard to let go, but it is a necessary part of life. We are after all the caretakers of our little ones until it is time for them to go out in the world. The Parents that God chose to raise up our children, to prepare them for the future God has ordained for them. If we as parents hold on too tight, then they will never grow, just as the caged bird will not sing.
We need to encourage our sons and daughters to go out into the world, to be strong individuals, to be independent, to think for themselves so that they can accomplish the tasks and have the life that they were created for. We need to be strong as we let them cross the threshold into adulthood. We have done our jobs; we have trained our children up in the way they should go. As parents, we need to be happy that our sons and daughters have matured into amazing men and women who are preparing to “leave the protective nest”; just as we all did when we were crossing that same threshold.
Just as the little tree in the story would not grow properly until I released it from its protective home, the pot that I could take with me if we were to move, our sons and daughters will not grow properly until we let them go from the protective nest. It is now time for a different relationship with our sons and daughters, a time for us to enjoy the young men and women that they have become. May the Lord be with each and every family, as these preparations begin. May He protect our sons and daughters as they now embark into this new adventure, the beginning of their adult life.
Seasons of Life, A Time for Everything
Proverbs 22:6 World English Bible (WEB)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it
After 27 (now 30) years of marriage and raising three amazing young men the time has come for this mom to prepare to “let go” of our youngest son as he crosses the threshold of high school graduation. As I have found with the first two sons it is a journey filled with joy and sorrow. Joy that this young man is now an adult and ready to enter into college and follow the path that God has created for him and sorrow that my “sweet baby” is now a man and my time as a full time mom is coming to an end. Oh how to let go……..Not having a mom to help me through this process has made it all trial and error and I have learned much. I was talking to a sweet friend whose first child is graduating this year and these thoughts came to mind.
A few years ago I was shopping at our local big box store in the garden section. I was still so homesick for the magnificence of the Pacific Northwest and was looking for something, anything for my garden that would remind me of home. There it was in the last chance pile, a tiny little Japanese maple on its last legs or should I say roots with two little leaves. I purchased that little tree so in need of nurturing and love and brought it home. The little tree was so root bound that it had nowhere to go, it was being suffocated by the boundaries of the tiny pot. I took it out, soaked the tight root ball in water and gently separated the roots and then prepared a new pot with fertile soil and room for this little tree to spread its roots and branches and begin to grow. And grow it did so much that the next year I had to repost it again and this time giving it even more room to grow outside the boundaries of its pot that had kept it safe. After a few years in that pot, a half barrel size pot, it needed to be moved but I didn’t want to move it. I wanted to keep it safe in that pot and be able to take it with us if we ever moved. The beautiful tree started to weaken, some branches broke, and the leaves were not quite as vibrant. After some time, I realized that I needed to let go of the tree and place it in its permanent home on our property. My sweet middle son dug a million-dollar size hole and it took so much work. That tree is now in the ground where it can spread its roots and branches to grow into the amazing mature tree that it is supposed to be; a mature tree that will bring a home to the birds, shade to many and shine with beauty.
Our children are very much like this little tree. We nurture and protect them from the moment we find out we are pregnant. Then when that beautiful gift from God is born, we protect and nurture them more. We keep our arms tightly around them not wanting to let go because they might get hurt. As time goes by we let go just a little and soon they are walking, and then running, and then off to school. Before we realize it and often before we are ready it is time to let them go out in that big world to become the men and women God created them to be. We must open our arms and trust that they are nourished and strong enough to take on the challenges of life. That we have instilled wisdom and common sense so that they will make sound decisions. The Lord tells us in his word Proverbs 22:6 to “start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” We cannot prevent our children from making mistakes or wrong choices but we must trust they have the Word in their hearts and will use good judgment. A mother’s job is so very difficult for we must raise up our children in the way they should go and then let them go. We must prepare them for life where they can stand on their own and not need us any longer. Oh, how difficult that process is to let them go (give them a bigger pot to grow) and grow, a difficult process but a necessary part of life. To all the moms and dads who are on this journey, I pray the Lord will give you courage, wisdom and peace and I pray for our sons and daughters as they venture out into the world.
Ecclesiastes 3World English Bible (WEB)
3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
2 a time to be born,
and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 a time to kill,
and a time to heal;
a time to break down,
and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep,
and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn,
and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek,
and a time to lose;
a time to keep,
and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear,
and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence,
and a time to speak;
8 a time to love,
and a time to hate;
a time for war,
and a time for peace.
The photo is that little tree that now is over 7 feet tall and about 6 feet wide. I think it likes it’s new home.
Japanese Maple
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